wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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