I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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