How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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