was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
