The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
