When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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