can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
