I puked a lego.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
