Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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