Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?

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(763): View more from Minnesota

The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.

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(248): View more from Michigan

im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.

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(914): View more from New York

The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

But break dance skills will only take you so far

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(315): View more from New York

There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.

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(516): View more from New York

There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.

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