You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
