and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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