sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
try to milk me bitch
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
