I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
