It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
