i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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