I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
