Nicole vs. Life
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
