OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
