i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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