apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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