did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
