I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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