Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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