..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
