You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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