I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
