she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
