i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
