I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
