does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
