If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
