I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
