They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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