i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
