Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She told me I should be a condom model.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
