Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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