There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize