standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
