Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
