can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
