How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
