Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
