I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
