So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
