we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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