i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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