His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
