no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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