using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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