She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
