The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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