you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
