Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
