Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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