also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize