You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
