...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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