it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
