I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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