Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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