No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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