Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
