So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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