Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
