He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
