dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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